Thursday, December 20, 2012

Day 219- So Glad I Said It Out Loud

Another walk in the dark in the freezing rain. Seriously freezing rain.

When I began this effort back in the late spring, I knew that I was beginning in the easy part of the year, and that winter was coming. But it was still easy to tell myself I'd get the job done. 

After all, I'd publicly declared my intentions. 

Who wants to feel the fool or admit public defeat?

Pretty much no one. 

So, I go. And as good as walking makes me feel, as wonderful as it has been for my mind and body, had I not committed to doing this 365 days in a row, today would be the sort of day I would skip. 

As would've been yesterday, the day before that, the day before that, the day before that...you get the idea. 

Winter in the Pacific Northwest is dark, cold and wet. And long. So if I skipped all the unpleasant days, I'd never be walking. 

And that's the rub with commitment. You make it, and before you know it, there's 562 reasons in front of you to break it. That's why it's called commitment.

Now, I speak as if an expert in this field, but I'm not. This is truly the only thing I've ever stuck fully with for this long---ever. In my life. 

Why? Because I declared it publicly? I dunno. If that's the case, I could declare that I need to lose 40 pounds, write 3 non-fiction books, 2 screenplays and 5 novels that have been rattling around in my head and learn to play the piano and do a full-body pull-up. 

I could. But not yet. If I did declare, than it just may have to happen, and that's a little scary to think about. Because this has helped me to begin learning what commitment is, and as I learn and grow, it's going to be harder to pretend that I'm not capable of seeing it all through. 

Have you ever wished you could put yourself on the line in front of everyone who matters to you and take that leap? Let me know, and I'll be the first one to sign up for your cheering section. 

Stay warm, 
Dani


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